6 of My Favorite Tips and Tricks to Deal with Sibling Rivalry

If you are mum to two or more kids, you know that all siblings at one point or another {or at every waking moment} fight and argue with one another. It’s a part of sharing the same home, the same toys and a bringing together of different personalities, ages and maturity levels. Sibling rivalry is a given!

Tips for Dealing With Sibling Rivalry

Here are some top tips to deal with sibilant rivalry and keep it to a minimum, all while raising smarter kids with higher emotional intelligence

Learn to pick your battles

Teach each child to learn patience and have insight. Help them learn to pick which fights are worth fighting over and which things are really that important to argue about. Children can learn to let go and walk away from the rest of the situations. Not everything is worth fighting over, and some things can be spoken about later on, when everyone is calm.

Empathy is key to peace

Teach your children the importance of empathy, of putting themselves in the other person’s shoes. Encourage them to try to understand what their sibling may be feeling, as well as why she may be feeling that way. Empathy is a biggie – learn to pause and look at another child to analyse what they are thinking, and  your EQ is bound to develop healthily!

Discuss and learn as a family

Have a weekly meeting around the family table, and bring up any recurring issues each child may have. Discuss why the arguments are happening, and let the kids take part in coming up with a resolution for future similar situations. Analysing a situation objectively is a great exercise in empathy too, as well as training a child to be aware of situations before they come up again. It also reinforces a sense of family, resulting in higher security for each family member.

Listen to all parties involved

When breaking up an argument, it’s important to get everyone to pause, calm down and then talk them through both sides. Give each child a chance to explain their side, without any interruptions, and let each child see the other’s point of view. It will {hopefully} be an eye opener, not the usual validation speech most kids feel and give us!

Teach sensitivity

Teach your children to defend each other – to be sensitive to each other, slow to anger and slow to speak, quick to practice self control and keep their voices under control rather than yelling. This is obviously easier the older they get, of course.  It helps to stop arguments and remind them of these principles. These discussions can occur over dinner, or in private in order to prepare for future fights.

Take time to connect

Take some time each day to connect alone with each child. See where they are at, make an awesome memory or two, and leave them to continue their day that much more secure. A child who is insecure or misses you may act up to get attention, even if it is in negative ways.

With practice and patience, you can help guide your kids through the years where all they want to do is attack one another. Week in and week out, you can be persistent in teaching them how to deal with their emotions, the emotions of other people, and their reactions.

How do you deal with sibling rivalry in your home? I’d love to hear some of your suggestions!

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